The Darkroom

Standing in total darkness, I imagine myself as a collection of silver-halide particles: dormant microscopic beings encased in a roll of film and ushered into activity when exposed to photons of light. As a film photographer, the darkroom is where I turn frozen moments in time into art—but it also means so much more. It is my place of quiet contemplation. My craft shapes my observation and movement through the world around me. Even without the comfortable weight of my camera around my neck, I examine life as if through a viewfinder.  I find myself searching for beauty in the mundane: the kaleidoscope of Bacillus cereus seen through the lens of a microscope or the pattern created by adjacent wheels at a bicycle rack. But it is in the darkroom where the alchemy truly happens—this is where I finalize how I capture the world.

I am in awe of this analog craft and the precarity of its continued existence. The advent of digital photography has brought darkrooms to the brink of extinction. And yet, I prefer the visceral quality of this medium that lends itself to a more personal experience. While I was in high school, my grandfather was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. I visited him in India that year and asked if he would sit for a series of portraits. There is something beautiful about capturing someone on film–etching their image into being through chemical reactions. Sitting with him as I fiddled with the aperture and shutter speed of my camera, my grandfather began sharing stories from his childhood in Pakistan and upbringing in a family of eight children. I captured his expressions as he told stories that brought him joy, sadness, and peace onto a permanent medium in real time.

This past summer, I found myself in the darkroom rummaging through old negatives from that project seven years ago. When my grandfather passed away, I sought out film because the medium permits me to select, enlarge, and relive cherished memories. Despite the slow obsolescence of film photography, I am continually fascinated by its ability to capture reality as it is. It allows the artist, and the viewer, to consider moments with a level of granularity that inspires wonder.